A Day Without Pain Would Be Like A Day Without Sunshine

Since I moved here in October and got a cat I thought the cat was peeing under the sink. At first there was old nasty carpet there but when my sister paid for the new tiles the fellow who installed it had to scrape mold up off the floor and he said there was a leak somewhere….I mopped up water from the floor every day…just a tiny bit..mystified and called the Maintenence Guys….They sent Rueben…He is a really nice person and he said whoever put in the fawcet was stupid. Now I have to buy new fawcets for him to put in….he will do it for free. The owners won’t mess with it. He fixed the leak with cotton and pumbers putty.

It is SO quiet here. I can HEAR nothing. Literally! My legs have hurt for so long I have no idea what it might be like if they didn’t. Next week I will pay someone to touch me and try to accupressure the pain away….no real subsitute for love but better then nothing and safer than a manslut…People think only men have needs….

*rolls around laughing like a mad person*

I do too but I am a GOOD GIRL NOW….I have to be…only dogs come sniffing and I am not in the mood to hear them bark…so I write my own erotic porno no one sees, (of course in MY porno the couple is MARRIED!) Sheesh! can’t even cut loose there! Like being married in a story makes it less wrong….at least no one but me sees it! I also try not to surf because my jihad is to try to be a good person. I am so clean I squeak! (What ever we are one way is as far the other way as we are capable of going…)

“BACK BACK!!!!! Evil demons GO HOME TO HELL and LEAVE ME BE! Bismillahi R-ramani RRRRRrrr-haheeeem!!!!!!”

My back hurts so bad I could scream. It’s starting to make me high. Who needs BDSM it lives in me I feel like I just got 1000 lashes with steel tipped cat-o-nine tails!

I am not even Catholic anymore!

“Ya Allah….Ya Allah…Ya Ghanial Hameedo…Ya latifooooo…..please please please…..I hurt sooooo bad!”

Forgive me the times I am not there….

I am laying down….

Another pain pill tonight…..

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