There was a time I believed in things with my whole heart in a kind of mindless rapture that is akin to an acid trip but much more lucid.
I believed that the sticks we played with in the cow pasture were real guns. I believed that a real tooth fearie came and left a dime for one of your baby teeth. I believed with all my heart that bunnies could hatch from chickens eggs at Easter and that the Stork would wing in with a baby and mom would get skinny suddenly after my parents went to the cabbage patch, (that belief was one of the first to go…but I digress), I believed in Santa Claus and I believed in Never Never Land and the Lost Boys and I BELIEVED I WOULD GROW UP TO BE SLENDER AND LOVELY LIKE THE DISNEY GUYS SAID I WOULD BE!
I believed all of these things with my whole heart and mind and soul. I even believed that if I believed HARD ENOUGH that that glitter was fearie dust I could fly and I jumped off higher and higher things trying to fly with the full belief that I WOULD fly and while the slow progression of jumping and trying to fly DID later get me to jump from high dives, bridges and river cliffs with ease I never could seem to get the knack of believing hard enough that I could fly and I considered that a shame and a flaw.
The MAIN point here being: I BELIEVED! I believed with every bit of lost mitochondrial material floating around in my body I BELIEVED!
Now answer these questions with total, ‘non-metaphysical-Santa-is-really-a-spirit-that-takes-over-your-dad’ B.S…..
…..Is any of what I believed with my whole heart REAL and why couldn’t I fly if I believed it with my whole heart?
You can say “Every woman in a princess or a queen.” and I will agree in theory but I am not after theory I am after concrete reality! People can say “Miracles are real.” all they want to and yes, God can do miracles if God wants to but I do not, for one moment, think that God is up there pulling a rabbit out of a hat for us just because we command God to do that because if that was so I would have had a completely different childhood and the most awesome ‘eagle-scout’ dad the planet ever saw with a voice to put Pavarotti’s to shame and he would have never needed to be weighed on cattle scales or threatened by DHS because of alcohol! I once BELIEVED with all my heart that if I prayed to God I would get what I prayed for right away!
I BELIEVED IN THOSE MIRACLES WITH EVERY CELL OF MY BEING!
The only problem was it was not enough for me to believe to make things happen. How long is a kid supposed to believe in miracles while the rest of the beliefs are rapidly being flushed down the toilet of life even while you desperately hang on to the address, “Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.” and hope that Peter Pan will not forget you because, unlike Wendy, your fearie dust is flawed.
Today there are people who believe they will be transformed, be taken aboard spaceships, be able to make things appear with only their desire and we are talking about adults here! Yes, I read the ‘Secret’ but that is not about simple belief but also action and yes you may believe you can fly but only if you ALSO work your ass off to make something to fly IN…or find a way to genetically put avian stem cells in your body after you figure out how they work (which is also alot of WORK as well as WISH), and hope that you don’t screw it up so that you poop every time you land!
If faith alone can heal us why do babies and children who BELIEVE better than any adult can still die? If God, (who does not NEED our prayers), can make any miracle happen just because we pray enough why do holy and devout saints get boiled in oil, hung, shot, and killed in various ways? If faith and miracles are that easy to have why doesn’t everyone who is crying get their hearts desire as the Benevolent One looks down and sees thier tears as thier homes are blown to bits in wars or their coastal regions slammed by tsunami’s?
It is TOO SIMPLE to say ‘Believe, and if you do not believe it is your own fault if you get nothing.” It is better to say, “Believe but make sure you lock your car, go to work so you can keep your car, and invent cool stuff in your garage so you can take it to jump off mountains with it and fly after you worked hard to make it happen.
So what is better then; to believe in fearies and be happy or not to believe in the stuff of dreams and be real? What is better: the lie or the truth. Is truth always good and beautiful? Shall I then tell those who believe they will become a part of an alien space-ship crew and fly away from this mess we have created for ourselves, shall I call them wrong?
What is the value of truth if it brings nothing but sorrow; does it benefit the cheater to be relieved of thier guilt or does it benefit the heartbroken one to suffer thier disillusionment? If you had a choice would you rather believe with all your heart that love is real and you can fly or would you rather SEE the human reality and know that those who jump off high buildings without parachutes go ‘SPLAT’ and that there is nothing just or fair about this life we live….
…although it is yet a world with sweetness in it.