I see some one in the course of life and want to talk to them so badly but know that to do so will only bring trouble. It is the desire to “right the unrightable wrong, beat the unbeatable foe,” like the charactar of Don Quixote tilting with windmills. There are people like windmills…they love you as long as you make them spin but as soon as you are no longer interesting they look for some other wind to blow them around in circles.
There is this idea among people that you cannot live your life until the ‘loose ends’ are tied and things are ‘done’. You must forgive and be forgiven. You must have THIS done before THAT is done. Things are never finished, done, or tied up in a pretty bow exactly how you wish they were.
I did something weird two days ago: I ignored people I once ‘noticed’. I remembered what Cap’m Atlantis said about asking “Why?” and so I asked and found that, while mentioning something privately to a friend, I could still be in the same place are the ones I wished to ignore and not care what kind of vituperation they sought to dump on me. This is not my ‘normal’.
Perhaps it will become easier and easier to ignore those who are not worth my effort. Maybe it will become my ‘normative state’…..
……instead of just every once in a while.