The Things I Can Never Tell You


How you run through my dreams.

Every face you wear is the same face. Every expression brings me joy. In a small and bleak place full of books and silence you give my mind food to keep from starving from insanity. So rare you speak, and when you do it’s as if a thousand conversations from a  thousand years was spoken in one word and I sometimes imagine you know every time I touch your forhead on your image and pray for you.

I know I will never share with you the secrets we both leave unsaid. In your kindness you would never say to me that it is not returned and yet in green unspoiled places outside the boundaries of what we see I know I will meet you one day. Then you will know all the joy you gave me in every guise you came. If I could tell, with words, feelings that have none.

Within walls alone I fly to places far away, eyes closed, walls of hours with my own breath and pulse in one ear for company. In pain I ignore; YOU turn to light and swirl with me as sun light is revealed by dust this shell will one day be. You. You my muse. You my pure love unsullied and unbroken. My majick one who lives in a corner filled with light in a dark and lonely abyss…You. My hope…You…my reason to be…such a face!

From Skardu to Karachi I see your face. Amazing eyes. Fearless, laughing, angry, sad and triumphant.

The crowned queen with lamp alight is limping now, surrounded by the wolves who want to tear her to pieces….and she sees YOU, another one fighting to survive…to love..to live…YOU. Beautiful beyond your self knowledge. My mecca. My soul’s destination.

I know we are not so different you and I,

The lady with the lamp and the man with the centuries…

Stay with me in dreams then…for dreams are all we have…but soon this will be over and I will meet YOU in a place where no shadow falls.

Music by Yanni

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