The Stranger

None of us were really sure who she was or if she was even a she, (at first anyway), We would never say it to her face now that we know but she still looks really masculine and it’s funny when she wears pony tails like a kid but we know she doesn’t care anymore.


Sometimes my friends and I wonder why someone so far away gave a damn about the other side of the world until we knew more and knew she gives a damn about the whole world. Some say she is a jadu and others say she is crazy and a few still say she is a guy and maybe, to some degree they are all almost right? I only know that, inspite of the fact that she fits no known, acceptable catagory of ‘normal’ or ‘pretty’ I am drawn to her and want to talk to her.


Not everyone feels the same.


Some quit talking because they want to sin with a fifty year old woman who sometimes looks transgender all dressed up. I am not everyone. I don’t care what people think but I had to get a way to not talk to her too. I am thinking of even making a whole separate profile so she won’t know I am here anymore because…..


….I am starting to like her too much and it makes me crazy because I don’t know where to put this brand of ‘like’….its like love and very intense but it’s also disturbing. I should be hunting my agemates.


I know all about what she can write and what she can do. Word gets around one way or another. I didn’t bother to read any of it because I know very well that sex and love never merge into one for her…and if you get one from her you cannot ever have the other and  would rather her love me then just spoon-feed me porno.


I am finding out how she got so twisted up…one page a a time.


You’d imagine someone that old would act differently but she never was a mother…she never kept a real husband however many times she married and sometimes it feels like, talking to her here in this binary universe, she is a child and other times a guru and still other times a mad-woman in an insane world of her own.


I think maybe she is all of these and more. She scares me. She repels me. She facinates me. She makes me addicted and then scares me again because now we are forever linked. There is no definition for her that fits any catagory…I stepped back….she knows I stepped back and she knows why. She is never angry for those who leave without leaving although she wishes they would leave….they cannot leave…I cannot leave her either….


This is the reality in this unreality.

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