It’s Quiet Here


It’s quiet here,
Upstairs they practice rock music and drink beer,
I would have loved that once but it makes me sick now.
Not because they are wrong but because my body says, ‘NO’!
My body rejects, violently, everything people use to escape.

I used to hike and be physical to get ‘high’….
That avenue is closed now.

I tried mediation and ended up in dark, scary places….

Disconnected.

I tried writing myself lovers…
(Because, face it, unmarried 50 year old ‘crips’ don’t get alot of action.)

That was OK for a while
But then I was banned in a country
That calls my stuff ‘porno’…

(Well it WAS porno!)

And anyway it made me feel bad for some reason
That that was the only reason
Some wanted me
And even close friendships
Broke from dirty words.

It’s so easy to tell another person
How they should see the world….
How SHOULD they see the world?
Can any of us have any idea?
There are those of us doomed
To brain wiring that happened
Before we even had the ability to put words into memory…

(But some of us can…..)

“GO OUT! BE WITH PEOPLE!”

So they tell me…

Go to the bar across the street?
Have my 75 year old mother drive me places?
She is already over-burdened….
Oh yes!
Go!
Do!
So easy it is yes? Yes? YES????

Even crippled people need money and support
To GO DO and BE

Don’t show me pictures of legless men
Climbing mountains with their fingers
Thinking this will inspire me.

That is nothing more than a cheap way
To get out of really helping someone….

It’s really quiet here…
In the box and in the Life….

So quiet.

(All Rights Reserved)
MshannonM
13/8/13

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