Get A Parakeet


Psittacula_krameri_-colour_mutations_-pets-8a(photo from Wiki)

I was going to write about men.

I was going to write about how I do not want one because I don’t know that there is any one of them who can convince me I am numero uno. Of course That goes both ways but someone has to be WORTH being ‘numero uno’. I have a thing for guys with the ‘El Rey’ personality and since I have the same personality it is only a matter of time before one of us bites the other one’s head off and ‘El Rey’ types don’t give up grudges that simply. It might take years to get back around to being awesome friends again.

I was going to write about guys but instead I think I will write about what I know about marriage,(which is probably precious little, seeing how I failed a few of them under the ‘divource whip’ of my personality). My personality remembers every bad thing anyone ever said to me. My personality knows my mothers desire to divource, which she gets to live through me over and over again because she cannot break the law of God. (We are talking about a woman who STILL thinks being a nun would be cool!)

So what can I tell anyone about marraige? Well, First thing is: Passion dies, and dies and dies and no matter who you move on to it still dies and pretty soon that awesome dude is a beer swilling, porno hound, with very bad breath who does not like the things that keep you thin! When passion dies I, too, have a transformation. I turn into a nagging, evil harpy who beats him over the head with every bad thing he did and if that does not work I jump right in and join the fray: You watch your porno gals/I watch my porno guys. You drink your beer/I pop my pills. You go see the titty dancers/I go see the male strippers. You bring home ‘Barbie’/ I sleep with all your friends. So if you wanna marry someone better make sure you are REAL friends cause if you ain’t…there is gonna be a DEEEEEEE-VORCE HORSE takin’ one of you away!

Second thing is getting older. When you are 20-something it is all about hotness. When you are 30-something it is all about stability. When you are 40-something the guys hormones are ‘petering’ out…(pun intended) and the gals hormones are screaming, “I WANNA GET…..uhm….dinner and a movie.” (word deliberately omitted.) Now I am closing in on 50 at lightning speed and well…I wanna be treated like a little girl. (yeah yeah yeah LYAO!)

DADDDYYYYY!!!!!

Oh shit!

He’s MARRIED to someone who was alot nicer than me who put up with all his bullshit until his brain grew UPWARDS (yeah yeah yeah LYAO!) Or, (Horror of horrors!), he is a male version of me!!!! So this is what I think about marraige…if you see it coming… …RUN LIKE THE DEVIL IS AFTER YOU!

Get a Parakeet and teach it to say ‘Fuck You.’ It’s alot more FUN!

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