Having recently gone through another of those ‘moments’ where I am saying, “Forgive me God.” because I wondering if it was ‘time’ I started thinking about this subject: Integrity.
It is a favourite with my cousin. He chewed me out once about it and even if I am not sure I deserved it or not I understood him so I will start with that subject.
In politics we rarely show integrity. At the top are liberals who make more money for doing less work than anyone else in America and yet they want to redristribute everyone’s wealth to help the poor. How many of them would be willing to live like Jose Mujka of Uruguay? On the other side are many poor who would BENEFIT from a redistribution of wealth who take the conservative line and are willing to forgo everything they need unless their child has pnuemonia and needs to go to the ER even if it costs thousands of dollars they can’t pay. The idea here is NOT politics but INTEGRITY.
The idea is living what you truly are. This can get you in trouble. It can even get you called a liar!
A kid says, “You look hot will you marry me?”
What he DOESN’T say is, “Things are really bad here and I don’t love you and I don’t know you but my brother has to go to school and there is no money and no jobs and no hope and I want to make my family proud by helping them out because they chose me to give all the money towards my education because they thought I was the oldest (or smartest or whatever the reason was) and I need a paper-wife.”
People don’t know what to say when I say, “Kid I am almost 51 years old and I am a brain-tumour survivor and I hardly make enough money for me to live on, let alone you, and if you had ANY IDEA of the kind of HOOPS I WOULD have to jump through FOR YOU FOR FREE and even risk PRISON, (because seriously, who is going to believe a 23 year old kid is in love with a disabled 51 year old lady), it would blow your mind and the reason I know this is because I ALREADY GAVE AT THE OFFICE! Then the kid gets mad and types, “You are not 50 years old your pic doesn’t LOOK 50 years old AND I THINK YOU ARE REALLY A MAN! LIAR!”
Integrity is telling it like it is.
But it isn’t just telling it like it is it is LIVING it like it is as far as you understand what it means to live that way. How many of us would tell a person, “I saw some really nasty photos of you at _______ and that is why I am suddenly interested in you after years of not caring who you are.” How strange would it be to hear the truth about everyone? There are people, (me included), ready to jump all over some ‘bad guy’ and we have stuff in our own closets that would make people sick. Or maybe, if everyone was HONEST, wouldn’t make anyone sick? How many people get mad at their significant other for surfing porn when they have surfed it themselves? How many couples decided to kill a baby before it was born so that it would not get in the way of money and career? How many have drowned the pet rodent testing it’s swimming abilities? How many of us can say we NEVER gave life-long scars to a sibling because of something we said? How many people come here to Facebook to be someone here that they are not in real life? I remember a story about a teen girl who fell in love with a woman, older than 40, because that woman was playing a fantasy, online, about being a teenage boy because she always wished to be one, and how that girl suicided when that ‘boy’ broke up with her…How many of us have done opposite gender to ‘see what would happen?’
Yeah ok I know you can say, “Oh but I didn’t do that!” Ok fine but you have done something…everyone has their own brand of evil and we have ALL done something! If all you can ‘remember’ is stealing gum from the candy-rack you need to go through your back files.
Integrity is not just ‘talking the talk and walking the walk’ it is also letting others do the same thing in peace. The main rule being: If it doesn’t hurt anybody then let it be. If someone else has been ‘wrong’ just know that you have also ‘been wrong’ at some time and try not to judge too much.
This does not excuse people who commit horrible crimes. Although some of those people have, strangely, the most integrity of all it does not excuse them. When serial-killers are caught they are often excruciatingly honest in every detail of their crimes and why they did them. There is even a lesson to be taken from the worst of people how NOT to be and yet INTEGRITY still does not mean “Do what thou wilt be the whole of the law” (Anton La vey)
It doesn’t mean we have to act or be any different than we do now. This doesn’t mean people should put up with corrupt leaders. This is just a note. It really doesn’t mean anything at all.
I guess what I am trying to say is each of us should think, very hard, before we judge someone very hard. There are times we need to forgive ourselves for doing the things that made us wince and forgive others for doing the same. There have been times I was sorry for taking off some kid’s head for asking to marry me or see my latest ‘pics’. I should have just stopped talking and let him be. His issues are not my problem and I don’t owe anyone anything. I think I am getting better with that but like all things it takes time.