He is in the distance but I know it is him. Behind him snow drapes the high peaks like the hairs of old men. In this green valley we walk towards each other, our feet crushing rainbows of spring flowers. My feet thrill to the feel of long, soft uncut grass and energy from mountains shoots through my legs and I start to run…and see you start to run towards me.
Huge gasps of air until my head is high as the clouds below us just were the tree line and meadows start. Does the hawk above see us running? Blue so high almost black but my eyes see you with cinnamon linen snapping over each stride. Closer you come and you smile with your eyes creased and beard slopped over one shoulder.
What do I look like to you in this world beyond worlds?
We will meet. After years and lives and time is gone we will meet. I have waited for you a lifetime. The love I could never find in this life.
My body flies over the heather and I feel my hair, now long again, streaming behind me like the soft skirt I embroidered with flowers of every shade, with my own hands.
I cry your name and I think you run faster but time is not fast enough or it is too fast or it does not matter because you will meet me here in this paradise. Your arms reach out and as we meet the momentum makes us tumble, in a spin, to the soft turf. It breaks our fall. I find myself looking down at your glowing smile. Each of your hands is on one of my shoulders, holding me up while a smooth your long brown beard and comb it with my fingers. Still you have said nothing. Only your eyes have joy.
“What do I look like to you? I can only see you. I cannot see myself.”
I am resting with one palm on either side of your head now…our legs tangled in my skirts…my scarf falling across us and you grab it and let me go so I fall upon your chest and, without any words, you roll over until you look down into my eyes with cinnamon eyes. Breathing hard. Words are pointless. “No.” is pointless. You will not speak.
You pull the huge dupatta over our heads and touch my lips with yours. They are soft, warm and firm. Your body is heavy upon me and breathing is hard but I do not want to breathe I would be happy to die in this moment but now there is no death. Only You.
I remember the lies I told you about how I really felt about you. I am startled as you say,
“I knew they were lies. I also lied. You meant as much to me then, even though we were both deeply flawed, as you mean to me at this moment. I have waited a lifetime just for this now.”
“You are my universe.” I whisper,
“You are also my universe.”
I reach my hand to touch his face and then both arms around his neck to pull him to me once more. How to put words to the flood of emotion? A kind of fierce sweetness and even his kisses taste like cinnamon. His hand behind my head now and his arm under the small of my back so I am pushing up against his body, arching into him. He feels strong like these mountains. I want to make my body a cradle for him. My hands move to his shoulders and hold on tight. I can feel him growing hard against my belly and I want him in it. I want him to fill me with eternity.