She


Before the days of many gods and goddesses there was one Being who dreamed everything and spoke it into existence. Everyone knows this. The story is older than Time Itself. When ‘time’ happened there were men and women walking the entire Earth.  They bred and peopled the planet with children.

During these days all the creatures could be here, where I tell this story, all at the same time and everyone understood each other with a clarity one cannot find now. Lying was impossible. There was no concept of ‘naked’ nor was there any concept of ‘good’ or ‘evil’ and no one had any law other than the ones they made themselves. ‘Law’ is not a good word. They had a ‘way-of-life’ that was simple: wake up, bathe, pick food from the land, walk everywhere, breed, raise young, and people had very long lives then. They were simple people. Today we classify them as ‘close to ape-like’ as if we are somehow superior but they were nothing of the sort; they were as smart, and in some ways smarter, than we are today. They were able to create what they needed with very little thought or effort and they lived and loved and were at peace with the land.

The Great Being, who later was named ‘God’, was outside of Time and had no end nor any beginning. That One could see all that would ever be as if It were reading a vast book and, later, humanity would come to have the idea of such a ‘book’ and call such books ‘holy.’ Indeed, after a time those books were needed because of a singular event in Time.

The Great Creator was alone. It had created everything and loved the creation dearly but the creation could not understand that vast love and the Being decided to try to create something that It could talk to. It would be a stretch to call what It created a ‘child’ but, in some ways, that was a little bit like the idea. What It created was going to be the pinnacle of everything It had ever created and the crown jewel of Creation Itself for the whole of Creation was also alive and was, and is, aware and sentient. It wanted to create something like the people and angels that already lived, together, on the blue, white and green planet it had set spinning like a sapphire in the vast dark of space that had blown out with a ‘big bang’ and the Being exhaled the sounds that commanded It’s creation to ‘become’. It was close to all that It had made and could easily talk to all of it and all of it could reply but there was something missing.

The Great Creator went, personally, and caused a lovely garden to occur. It was paradise and the humans that came from it would later name it ‘Eden’. From the ground It created a ‘man.’

That man was the king of the world. That man could think on a level higher than all the other beings created and that man named them all because naming a thing was new and the first words of the first language were spoken. Those words were the same words, that you can see small traces of, in every tongue that utters sound today.

This story is an old, old story. It is so old it cannot be copy-righted. It is so old that most of the people, on what we now call earth, understand some similar version of this tale and the tales that came after it. It has become an ‘Archetype’ for the Human Race and also has been accused of being nothing more than a figment of the Human Mind but once upon a time…

…She existed.

We all call her different names. Only she knows her name now. There are no accounts of her death. She still walks the earth as the spirit of an old woman but, once upon a time she was young and had eternal life. The twist in Time had not yet been ‘cut’ by ‘Knowledge.’ For centuries She ruled this planet before men thought of ruling anything. For eons she was the Virgin Queen of Light in the days when the Earth was young and strong. She lived in a Paradise-on-Earth and she ruled it and all that was in it. She was not made of ‘dirt’ like the first creations but she was made of the finer stuff the finest creation, that existed before her, was made of: Flesh and blood. She was both a daughter and a sister at once. The Earth was under her feet.

On an endless lovely day she walked the garden. He was swimming in the lagoon after they had a water fight…she did not know about the conversations taking place without her awareness…

“Why did It create them to be over us? WHY! WE are the strongest of all! WE know things that pair of idiots has not been taught yet! LOOK at them! They are designed to reproduce and yet they do NOTHING!” This was said by an angry Angel.

“Brother…why does that bother you so? They will get to this with Time.”

“Why can’t WE make more of ourselves!” The angry Angel was yelling and thunder cracked across the Skies of the slowly spinning earth. The First People ran for the caves and the warmth of fires.

“We have eternal life. We do not need to reproduce. You know the Law. The Universal Law. They do not know the Law and they are innocent.”

“Then I will TEACH them the Law!”

“You know we are forbidden to interfere.”

“They can’t fly. They can’t make things vanish into nothing!” the angry Angel pointed at a tree and lightning struck it and the First People saw it as a bad omen.

“Stop being childish even YOU don’t know all there is to know yet!”

“I WILL know and I will teach….

HER!” The angry Angel pointed at the Queen of Earth.

She walked through the garden and admired it’s great beauty. This was home to all of the best and the most beautiful things on the planet and she had not yet seen them all. Each discovery was a new and lovely surprise. When she had first become aware she had seen His face looking at hers and smiling as they lay on the soft grass and flowers. He was, without doubt, the most beautiful thing in the garden! She smiled as she remembered how he had said she was the most beautiful thing in the garden. The rabbits and deer played at her feet and flowers grew where she walked. Millions of years later She would be portrayed in movies like this as many characters that Men thought they had invented but, in reality, she is the faintest memory of the perfect ‘Mother’ and, as such, is a part of the vast Human consciousness that strives to explain Life; but, on this day, she was simply the most stunning woman on Earth. As she walked she became aware of someone nearby,

“Come out of the trees! I thought you were still swimming!” She laughed and the trees sighed with joy! “Hurry! Catch me!” She began to run and heard movement in the bushes and was delighted! She loved this game! Later generations would call it ‘Hide and Seek’ but she just loved the game! She quickly climbed a tree! See if HE could find Her hidden in the leaves!

The Angry Angel shifted his shape angelic to humanoid. In the realm of Angels he was much larger than any human being but, He could shape-shift into a tall humanoid form with wings. He watched her running and laughing. He hated the man she belonged to and he knew that she was the key to his plans…

…but already he was beginning to fall in love with her. As light as a feather from his own wing she leapt from branch to branch. Without any effort he rose on the those wings that were as wide as he was tall and hovered as he allowed himself to appear to Her. In the distance he could see the Man, still swimming, in the lagoon. He watched as her eyes widened with joy at seeing a new creature: Himself. Often he had seen this look directed at anything new she saw and now she was looking at him with those amazing golden eyes! He hated everything about his own existence at that moment. He hated what he was going to do to Her. Once more he looked at the man who was swimming far away and decided he hated him the most.

“I have never seen you yet. What is your name?”

Her voice was liquid sunshine. Her mouth was the colour of red roses and her skin was like the smooth velvet a young mesquite branch. He wanted to teach her everything he knew. He wanted to take her away from HIM. maybe if he could make her love an Angel…? Maybe if he could take the place of the Man? Maybe if he could prove he was just as good?

Maybe?

His chagrin must have shown on his face because she was suddenly compassionate. Her slender, long fingered hand reached out to touch his face and he grabbed that hand and kissed it’s palm. She allowed this with such kindness in her eyes!

“Are you a kind of bird-man? I never saw anything like you before! What is Your name? Did He see you and name you yet?”

His heart flamed with dislike of the one that was now his competitor but he hid that emotion. “No I have no name but the name you give me My Queen.” he whispered that with every atom of his existence in the words.

“You are the most beautiful creature I have seen yet…so I will call you ‘Light’.”

She had named her first creature! Her heart was filled with joy!

His heart also thrilled with joy as he swept her up into his arms and carried her into the sky, both of them laughing. The Earth was happy and the weather was great and the First People came out of their caves and were glad after the terrible storm earlier. They gave thanks to the Great Creator and celebrated! They saw the pair flying overhead and laughing and thought they must be Angels of Mercy and chiseled rocks with pictures of the pair.

She looked into his black eyes as they flew and the force of forward motion carried her body against his.

“Wrap your legs around me and you will not fall.”

There was something strange in his eyes and she felt it down to her soul and was troubled.

“There is no need to be troubled.” He was soothing now. “I can teach you the secrets of the universe. I can teach you things beyond your wildest dreams. The first thing I can teach you is how much I love you. I want you to have my children.”

(later will be edited for content.)

And so it was.

She learned he had been appointed the ‘Watcher’ or ‘Guardian Angel’ of the planet Earth. She learned how to make love and how to reproduce herself with him. Her children learned how to wear colours on their faces and herd animals and farm and play music. Her children would be known as titans, nephilim, djinni, and they would be called ‘gods’ and rule the nations that began with the land of Ur…More angels would come and take her daughters as wives and they would be granted privileges as goddesses but first came the disaster:

As they lay under an Apple Tree she had been so full of the magic spells of her new lover she had forgotten everything before. It came back to her now as she looked upon the gorgeous creature lying next to her under the tree whose seed she now carried. He was clearly in love with her. They had flown outside the garden into the lands of the First People. She became afraid. She had never been afraid before.

“I think we have…”she could not find a word for what she felt.

“You are learning now. I am an eternal being and our children will have half of my life span and will seem like gods and goddesses to these people.” The creature beside her waved a lazy, finely tattooed blue hand at the surrounding area. “Would you like to be seen as a goddess? You are my goddess! I will find a way to make you live forever!” His eyes looked fierce and his blue-green muscles flexed in his arms. He later would, indeed, cause her to live in what seemed to be ‘forever’. She would be known as Ishtar and Astarte. She would be known as Hera and Ashura; some would call her Inanna and still others would call her ‘Lilllith’.

“We need to go back in the garden and check on HIM! I was not supposed to leave him alone!” Panic possessed her! What was she supposed to do? “Please! PLEASE take me back!”

“You belong to me now and no longer to HIM, but we may go back.” The angel caused wings to grow from her back and she cried out from the pain. “This will hurt only this time. Then you may change your shape as you please. Come. Fly back with me.”

They flew back to the Garden of Paradise and found an invisible barrier they could not cross. They could only watch as the Great Creator caused the King of the World to fall asleep a second time and they watched as a new woman, who looked exactly as the first one, was created for him. SHE began to cry as she realized what had happened. “Why are you sad? he will never know it is not you and I love you with all of my being!” She stiffened in his arms as her tried to hold her close and regain her once innocent heart but it was too late. She looked at the Angel with hatred and vowed to get even with him even if it took Eternity. He hung his head and huge waves of sorrow washed over him as she watched her fly away carrying his unborn children. He would never know that every daughter she raised she would raise to hate him and his kind even as she gave them all in marriage to the Sons of Light.

They would destroy the world.

The First People were kind. She was heavily pregnant and had no where to go, having adopted their shape they did not recognize she was one of the ‘others.’

Her once beautiful ‘Light’ had seduced the second woman and the third attempt at creative redemption. The child was born a cursed twin to his fraternal twin and the children of two different fathers had shared one womb. She felt soory for the ‘other woman’ but it was not her problem. She was also about to give birth. They had allowed her into their cave dwelling and, for the first time in human history, she noted they had killed animals and made leather. She tried to talk to the Great Creator as she had before but That One could not hear her anymore. She had watched, with both pity and satisfaction, as the man she had been paired with and his new bride had been driven away from their beautiful home and made to drink the blood of the animals they had named and loved.

Only one creature she had named. If he had loved her so much why did he go to the other woman as well?

“Oh God! Oh God please talk to me like days of old!”

But there was nothing. The First People thought she was praying and was a priestess. They made her sacred and they piled stones for her to sacrifice animals upon the alter so they could appease her God. To kill these creatures whose language she once understood killed her inside as well but it was ordained to be so. They showed her the drawings and carvings of the ‘gods’ on the rock and she recognized who she had been. They had told the story of the tree and the storm there as well and it made her feel the foreboding future.

When the pains came she screamed as she was torn in two and felt Death near to take her away as her baby girl cried “LIFE!” and was born. When Light came to save the woman he had once loved and restore her once more she allowed this and the people saw they had ‘gods’ living amongst them and they worshiped these gods. The baby girl was as fair as Light and the mix of blue-green and copper resulted in a pale and lovely olive gold with black eyes and hair. So it was the First People called her ‘Fire’ and she was the first of the many goddesses on the earth.

Light and Lillith danced again and made a son.

The son and the daughter married and what would become ‘Egypt’ one day was born to them. From them would come Greece and from Greece would come Rome and from Rome would come Europe and from Europe would come America: the youngest nation of that kind.

From the ‘other woman’ came Mesopotamia and that became Babylon and that became China, The Middle-East and Saudia and from these would come Pakistan: the youngest nation of that kind.

Everyone knows about the Great Flood and how humanity started over and why it had to be done. They don’t know all the details but it really isn’t needed to explain me or why I exist.

I am HER daughter. The one that some call ‘Lillith.’

One that other say is the spawn of shape-shifting lizard people. They are only partly right.

I found this out when I met her in a dream.

I was looking for something unknown,

There is a road,
An Old Path,

… It is not large enough to accommodate two travelers walking side by side. It winds around a lake in the north. The land is rolling hillside covered with Cedar Green and blood rusted dirt and yellow sunflowers. The air is thick and the wind blows hard from the south.

I walked on this same road alone many times.

I came to a place at the foot of a steep red hill

A grove of Cedar Trees lay ahead. The shade looked cool and easy to a traveler. As I entered the grove there was an old woman
sitting quietly at it’s center, tailor fashion, rocking back and forth, like I did as a child, while she crooned.

It sounded like some anguished prayer and I thought to myself, “What is wrong with this old woman to cause her such sorrow?”
I waited, curious but detached until she saw me. freezing in mid-prayer, she did not bother to look at me or turn,

“Who are you?”

“A tired traveler….”

“No…who are YOU!”

She commanded me

“I am a lion…captured and trained by evil gods,
I have all the instince to breed but the ability stolen…
I fled the cage with wild yearning but my keeper
Came and rescued me from near starvation
I was never taught to survive…
I escape every time and am returned to the cage….
Every time.”

“What is you NAME!”

Another demand….a harsh demand

“My name is Moira, Mara, Maria, Mary, Marie, Maryam, Mirium, Meara….”
I trailed off

“Mary” she sighed deeply,
“Each contact is a stab for me…it hurts to be alive…”

She rose slowly from the ground and turned to face me,

“Why would you speak with me?”

I wanted to leave because I had no easy answer. Had I been seeking her? I was only walking the Old Path. How could she have seen me so clearly? It seemed as if I knew those eyes: her eyes. They were at once both clear and black…bright and young in an old and withered face. As she studied my face she began to chuckle….

I DID KNOW HER!

“You know who I am and you are speechless!
What do you ask the first woman on earth?
What to you say to someone as old as dirt?
You believe that if you understand me
You will understand yourself…so be it….
But I will make no promises…”

I stayed with her until I went to sleep and woke up in the ‘other’ world where life is modern. The next night I woke up once more in the cedar grove and there was the old woman, praying and crying in that odd language,

“Why are you crying?”

“Why?” She almost swallowed the word with a sob,

She turned and those young-old eyes pinned me,

“I weep for my children who will, shortly, destroy each other. They will unleash the great force of light…Wisdom…but there will be no wisdom it it. The light will annihilate them…..once light was a rainbow after the first rains, and far away where I could no longer go was a lovely garden in my memory, I gave the gift of free will where only destiny should have been measured…
This would have been given when it was time to give it….I gave it too soon.”

She was crying again.

“I have been all over the world. Very few noticed me. I have seen everywhere but where I wish to return to. I have seen the Earth when she was an infant…I have seen what my children have done to her and to themselves….”

Again she was weeping…

While she cried I thought of all the places I would never see. I already knew in my heart and had seen that much was written. The Rift Valley, Mount Everest, The Khyber Pass….all dreams of dreams….The fables cities for song and story: Tashkent, Samarkand, and I might never see Kashmir. These places danced in my head and I knew the old woman had seen them all…how horrible to see the end from the beginning….the price to pay for teaching too much…to be deathless without any glory left…

“STOP NOW!”

She screamed at me.

“Do NOT dream of what you DO NOT know that way leads to the death!”

I looked at her stern face with it’s still strong lines etched in iron,

“How did you know what I was thinking?” I asked softly,

“You are a part of me I can never reclaim. You are that part of me which desired to learn. I know you as well as I know my own self. You are my daughter.”

The old woman walked stiffly away from the grove then and the wind shifted now blowing from the north and the sun…sun here?….cast long shadows…what had become of time??? As I mused she was about to round a corner of the tall canyon,

“WAIT!!!!” I cried out to her

But she was gone.

I, once more, went to sleep in her night and woke up to my day and then went to sleep in my night at woke up to her day.

As I awoke once more in the cedar grove it was nightfall and she came back around the corner with sticks for a fire. She blew on them and a fire appeared.

The oldest woman on earth…

… “I thought you were dead.”

She began to laugh and cackle almost like the crackling fire…

“In all your readings where was it ever mentioned that I died? In one tradition I was turned into a demon…but that was not so. This is my punishment. To see all things deteriorate into nothing. I had children with him. SHE had children with him. On this earth are two sets of these. You are of mine. ”

This struck me with a kind of force past words. She was not talking about what happened AFTER the flood…she was…

….as the idea exploded in my head she started to laugh….

“You are right….I do not ever recall a story about your death.”

“My body has wasted away to almost nothing and so the impression was that I died. This pleases those who rule. I am an earth bound spirit and I cannot leave until I have completed the years of my curse here. Why you are allowed to meet me in this dream I do not know.”

Then I woke up and I have never seen her again.

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