Memory Came back

There was a letter from you today. It has been a while since I heard from you. Sometimes in the back of my mind I think it might be possible we might be together again…now that we are much older…now that the world no longer sees or cares what we do I wonder will I end up with you?

It is not impossible for you to change that much in over thirty years and 15 of that behind bars now…funny how time brings back the feelings I had when I bit my pillow so hard that no one could hear me screaming and they all were sure that I was dreaming. No one knew I loved you as much as I do…No one understood we were not good for each other way back when and I wonder if there is time for a second begin after all the years have gone away we’re old and grey and I remember you left me a gift that day.

Every time I asked a guy to marry me it was real love of some kind and every time I kicked him to the curb it was some heavy pressure from behind even if there were good reasons all could find I wish each time had been different and everything today had changed but here I am and there you are and I cry over people far away.

I know the truth now you never stop loving anyone you ever loved and it can make you crazy like hell if none of them leaves your heart. Every time the tears rolled down another failed attempt to make a life with someone else besides myself and someone promised me the we would be together for the rest of our lives just as soon as some one else died and now that too is gone away like the winds of yesterday on the merry-go-round called the world upon which we did play.

Promises were made to be broken and love is only a faint fair token but every time those words I’ve spoken I have meant them from the depths of my soul…I never love half way but whole…The faces that have been my goal the arrows flew from me to you and you and you and you and you…but you really were the first to hold my heart in your clever hands in spite of all our failings and I got a letter from you today…

…and memory came back to play.

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