It’s weird sometimes how something real and mundane can hit you in a new light. The stuff we lose a little bit at a time for various reasons; hair, teeth, eyesight. When I was a kid I thought I would hate myself if I ever got that way and now it is a normal state of affairs. It is a reminder that this flesh shell we are in decomposes from the day we are born. It has been said many times before and yet this old idea still is quite fresh because it happens to everyone and is new to each individual it happens to; from the day you are born you are on your way to an appointment with death.
We try not to think about this and in some ways maybe that is a good thing. If we thought about it all the time we might be like some mystic in a cave spending every second in nothing but trying to reach the ‘other side’ before we reach the ‘otherside’ to prove it’s truth so we can go in peace and yet it is faith only that often has that peace inherent in it…The irony…to the logical reasoning man who can comprehend the idea of eternity…to give that being a limited life in the world of the senses and then give no proof after these senses that there is more.
A few claim they have reached this place of KNOWING. I think I have sometimes and then I try not to think about this as a dizzy spell hits or I weep alone. During these times we have nothing BUT faith. Faith that there is a Paradise and faith that if we love The God we will maybe get there. It is not simple to ignore pain because you know that you will have to figure out your own health as the doctors, aside from a couple of medications, will not touch you. Then you know that even everything those with some of your same problems got with the ‘cadillac’ insurance that you will get something at least and something is better than nothing….but it also leaves you knowing that things are never equally balanced and perhaps never can be…as this world is an imperfect place.
Everything about being Human is a sin it seems. Sorrow is a sin. Hopelessness is a sin. Desire is a sin. Yet we all have these things in us. Whatever shall we do with them then? Like this moment when I wish for eternity or for human love…..
Maybe there are no answers.
Maybe one day in Paradise?