Life Does Go Onwards


“It has always been this way it seems.” She sighed the words in her mind and planned the day. All the years she was second to something. Second to rock music. Second to porno. Second to other women. Second in literal importance. People think second is better than nothing but, like the Aldous Huxley novel she read when she was a kid that was a part of being a Beta person. Deltas had no idea they were less than anyone else it was all engineered that way, only life is not a novel and…well anyway.

While she washed her dishes, across the city a man and a woman were screaming at each other. In the middle of the fight the man left and the woman went to the laundry room and started the clothes for the kids to wear tomorrow and tried not to cry. She had given him all of her time when he was weak and sick and they made plans to stay together forever and now he was….

She had met that woman. He had told her that woman was a poor old crippled lady and yes she was that but she was a PRETTY lady for all she was old and the way she looked at him spoke volumes about what she felt about him….she sighed and the sun fell.

The old lady had finished the dishes and the house and gotten dressed up all pretty. He had said he was coming and the week before he had said it every day and had not come and everyone had told her he was a liar and to kick him but…

She looked at her hands. They had only held someone with false love four times in fourteen years as if there was some curse upon her that…

….no don’t ruin the night or the chance!

The sun dropped over the lip of the city and there was a knock at the door. She opened it and there he was smiling! He opened his arms and she hugged him then and cried because it felt so beautiful to be near another human being like that. Her head fit right under his shoulder and…

It was a dream of a night with red low lights and music and playing with the phone and learning he was a fascinating person and it felt like being a teenager again. There is always a price to pay of course for that. Smart women ask for money but she was never a smart woman to ask for anything so when the violent part of love happened she let it happen because she knew that you don’t open the door without knowing what is possible.

The next day she was sore but it was worth it and the antibiotics too.

A week later he had come by twice and nothing had happened but pure love and a week later she called too.

He told her he was in Kansas City and was grounded and could not make it back in time to see the kids that night. That was OK that happened a lot as he was a pilot. She kept thinking about the woman she had met. She had kicked him out of her bed of course and he deserved that as he was…she sighed…she was always second to his airplanes and whoever was on the ground there. After some days she decided to find the woman and call her. She did that and decided to take the kids and they all went swimming together and had a grand time! How much to tell the poor old lady?

She called after that swim day and both women talked. The old lady never told her more had happened than what she had been told had happened, but the old lady sighed as she hung up the phone and crossed another one off her list and heart…not that her list in life had been that long or that she had the life of a family or the real love of a man who knew how to love but hey…

… Oh bla di oh bla da life goes on.

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