The Magic Bullshit Shield


I imagine something and make it viewable. I write something and make it imaginable. I + mage = Image. We are all mages, tricksters and creators. ALL of us. How this expresses itself is the only variable.

I respond, with my tactile senses, to something and it moves me to a non-tactile ‘place.’ It moves me to the ‘mage magic’ place. This is expressed in so many ways. When I was young there was a girl who was on the cheerleading squad. I only have seen this once in my life and I have seen many cheerleading squads but she was exceptional.


I tried to figure it out for a long time. She had short, dirty dishwater blond hair. She had terrible acne. She could not do the splits of any of the fancy stuff the rest of the squad did. Her parents were poor and not ‘town team sponsors’ (which will often get an ‘average’ girl an ‘exceptional’ placement.) She was NOTHING at all like a cheerleader and she was not even a SNOB!

She was like no one I ever met and I liked her and so did everyone else. I asked her, while riding that ugly yellow signature school-bus, what her secret was. See, at that time, everyone was calling me a ‘witch’ and so I was studying that. In those days, way out in the tall grass boonies of Oklahoma, in those ranch town libraries, about the only thing you could find was about the Salem Witch Trials. She looked at me in a strange way and then she said, “I am happy and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I am happy anyway.”

She really WAS happy but there was more to it than that. Her personality ‘stuck out’ farther than her skin. Her soul was larger than her body. After that I started to LOOK AT people and LOOK INTO them. I learned this:

The two do not always match.

There are those walking around in this world who are very powerful people and yet do not fit any descriptors of what a powerful person should look like or be. In doing this I met many such people over the course of my life. There was the young man who was the shortest, most snaggle toothed kid in the school and yet, when he played music, the girls who hung out with the homecoming queen would ask him out on dates. Once his band mates asked him what his secret was and why weren’t they getting any action as they were tall and ripped in comparison to him. He just smiled and shook his head.

There was the hippie English teacher who was weird and stoned and yet we learned more in her class, than we ever would learn anywhere else, about language and how it works. She was tall and strange with wild black hair and everyone made fun of her. She didn’t care what they thought.

It wasn’t the ‘I don’t care’ that is a REACTION to bullies and their bull shit but an ACTION that told the bullshit people, before they reached that stage, that their bullshit was not going to work.

That was the secret. Understanding what bullshit is and making yourself impervious to it.

Bullshit proof.

So for the New Year hits that is my wish for all my friends: that you keep, or learn to wield, your magic ‘bullshit shield.’

Your Highness

(A folktale)

The People asked God for a KING.

“Why do you need a king? Don’t you have everything you need?”

“We need a king please give us a king! We want what those people over there have!”

“What do they have that you don’t have?”

“They have roads and fancy buildings and farm-fields and…..”

“But they are not free like you are they have to pay taxes and….”

“But they have FANCIER WOMEN and ours look plain next to them!”

…..and so it was done and God gave the people a king. They got a king because they wanted “what those people over there” had. This was the start of all the trouble. You see before then they were pretty much free and could travel all over the place and they had magic shoes even but it was not enough. They wanted something someone else had. They got it. Being a king is not that easy because suddenly people quit thinking for themselves and expected the king to think FOR them.

“Your Highness when should we build a new barn? Your Highness should we coin money to represent goods? Your Highness the family that lives by the big rock refuses to work and their kids are starving and that isn’t right and….YOUR HIGHNESS YOUR HIGHNESS”

Your Highness had a bad headache. He had to figure out all by himself how to give the people what they wanted and that was hard work and no one said thank you and if he made a mistake they threatened to kill him and it was a mess but he did it anyway because God made him a KING and he was a CASTE unto himself and so his whole family should benefit and he should have a royal life too because he watched THOSE GUYS over THERE and that OTHER king lived in a PALACE and didn’t he deserve the same?

Your Highness made a mint and made money happen and taxes and buildings and he made LAWS because people NEEDED laws so that they would not NEED to think for themselves about not taking THAT GUY OVER THERE’s stuff away from him (starting with a palace with guards to help protect him from people that wanted to kill him) and pretty soon THOSE people OVER THERE noticed Your Highness had a better kingdom than they had and they decided to try to TAKE it from him by force.

Your Highness had ANOTHER headache and had to raise an army to fight the army that was coming to kill the king…and so it went on…

In the thousands of years in between then and now millions of people were born and died and born and the institution of Kingship was entrenched. People could not do anything without a King. They could not function without laws but over all those years a whole system came to be that put all the power in the hands of a very few and those few used that power like a hammer on the minds and hearts of the people. They HAD TO or they knew they would lose everything. They were scared to death to lose everything so they had to scare the people as badly as they were scared so they hired smart people to make scary weapons that would destroy the world and then they took the world hostage.

That is how a very few people came to rule millions of people who mostly hate their rulers guts and would like to take them out but are scared to death of the kingdom collapsing and losing all their goodies a kingdom gives…

They should have never asked for a king. Each man should have ruled himself. Worked for himself. Lived for himself and the good of the community. Maybe they would not have been fancy but maybe they would have been happy and everyone would still have magic shoes?