Ends

Time went on
Little children

Playing in the dirt
Bright white grins
Were left behind
Old skins shed

Innocence lost
Trying

To hold on to a dream
You once saw

A moment
In a flower
Time goes on
Leaving behind

Youth
Strength and pride
Upraised chins
Defiance
Time keeps going
Work
Children
Bodies fail and age
Memories

Heavy as rocks
Try to hold on to Life
Time stops short
Ends

Almighty One

All that there ever was
Was You Almighty God
All that will ever be
Will be you Almighty God
You are the only One
Who loves me anyway

Forgive me
For you made me thus
Passion for many
Undirected unknown
Every love poem I write
Is to You
Revealed in each soul I love

Sweetest pain it is
To love so much
With only You and I here
But I know Your love
For me is past my understanding
So I hope my tears are Your diamonds
Though made only of glass

If You are all I have left
Let me love You in every face
Let me see You every place
Let me laugh with you
With every friend
Direct that Love towards me
I need You
You Love me

Heart throat aches
Tears dropping
If You will only see favour
In the least of these
In Your Keeping I am
Smile at my mistakes
You knew I would make them

If I could only love You
As much as I need You
Almighty God they think I do not pray
They think I do not know
They think I am not aware of You
You know

Within the Dream

Squeeze the wind from the tartan bags
Pluck the raindrops from the stringed harp
Blow away last year’s leaves with sharp exhales
Upon the flute play the bodhran boom
Vibrate the skies and fill the eyes
Until they make rivers
Fill the seas and dance on feet
World wandering wonder’s beheld
Never leaving the dream of dreams

By the Word of One

By the word of One
Siren song
Calls the faithful
To the shelter from the winds
For winds rule the prairie here
By the word of One

Watch dark skies
Pregnant with rain and bolt
Round bellied clouds scud
Icy clatter white maracas
Pelt the Summer window
By the word of One

Facing east
Thrown around my head
A shirt I was going to wear
Playing Pool Games
Whispered prayers
Blowing into the blow
Huuuuuuu
By the word of One

Gemstones In My Crown

The riches that I made

Are nothing about material in this life

There are some people
You never can stop loving
No matter how much you try
They are like a one way light-switch
They are light all the time
Not always easy to explain why
Sort of like a meeting of minds
Where all the hidden sweetness finds
More of it’s kind
I can’t stop loving
I tried my best
It’s not my nature to be heartless
I failed that test
But this is how it is supposed to be
Or it would never be this way
I would never feel sad
Because of you another day
But the sadness is beautiful too
Yes worth it all are you
All of you who sent the lights
In cold dark nights
Who made the lonely world
Worth living for
It was written you for me
Even for a year or maybe only three
Even though you might be gone forever
That is only here upon the dirt
Gone you are never
You beat behind this shirt of flesh I wear
Everywhere like springtime flowers
Summer showers and the winds
That sweep down prairie plains
Once I was sad I had to carry all the memory
But now I see the beauty of the gemstones
In the crown of my heart

Kick Up The Green

Spring is starting to
Kick up the green
Rare
Red blood inside
Art we are
Want to
Make you
Guess what
I want to make you
King
Head into the sky
Jump on the unseen
I can
Go go go
Every word floods
I am the crafter
You are clay
Let me make you
Oh oh oh
Let me make you
Kick up the green

Sine Wave Shimmy

Don’t ask
Just
MOVE
Shadows
Bang bang
No not
DEAD
Little little
Grind
That rhythm
Big moon
Hahaha…haha
Spring sprung undone
Pari ji
Chand moon
Sun frown down
MOVE
Smile hustle
It won’t matter
Tomorrow
SNAP
Shimmy sine wave
Don’t ask

Skip

Skip fast
The kids are quick
Wheels popping on curbs
Step stop
Laughing at the falls
Fast fast fast
Before the po po come
Whiz the parking lots
Bright shirts flash by
White smiles
Jump over the speed bumps
Brake fast
Breakfast for the eyes
Careless car-less caress
Oklahoma winds
Skip fast

Moooo…meeennnnn..t

Move it on down th’ river
If you’re not gonna dock
If you’re not gonna rock
In the cradle with me
Move it on down…

I don’t have time
T’ waste thinkin’ of you
If you’re gonna pass by
Wave
Maybe I’m there

Maybe I’m busy with love
Maybe a new boat tied fast
Maybe fishin’ alone
Smilin’ like I ate the sun
Smooth

Movin’ on down the river
Maybe swimmin’
You think you want me
I won’t feed your niaat need
I am takin’ care of business

Move that moooooo minnnnn’ t’
To a beat you can serve
I deserve real
No bad stuff here
I wish you well dear

Move it on down th’ river
If you’re not gonna dock
If you’re not gonna rock
In the cradle with me
Move it on down…

Gone Like Everyone

I am missing someone
Like missing a shooting star
They come and go out of my sky
From near to me and far
I fell in love so many times
I wonder if it’s real
I see that face so many years
And he knows how I feel
Life is like a poem without an end
It’s like a cherished enemy turned friend
I want to talk to him again
But he is gone like everyone
They come and make me fall in love
They leave and then go and live life
They cannot help how great they are
Oh love how sweet the knife it wields
From far away to yesterday
I kneel, at the alter where I falter
Where I feel, maybe there’s a chance
But then I know so well I know…

…Love’s always gonna go…

Is Anyone At Home

Two hundred numbers in my phone
Is anyone at home
To make a new connection
There are days I think I’ll call them all
Shock a stranger to a call
To avoid the introspection

Yes I’m looking for a new friend now
Like the one from childhood
No one since then was like her
Do those come only once a life how
Rare it is for one life’s runner
To find love that close and good

I am not crying it’s just allergies
I eat pink pills all day to kill
The constant sneezing nose
Now that the rain is gone the flowers
They will make me wish for stone
Alone that is the way it goes

How I wish that I could sing it all
But I can only hear it in
My head so I live within again
If I can just wait one more day ’til Fall
I still forget about it all
Until it once more starts to rain

I Need To Change My Name To ‘Sinbad’

I think my name should be ‘Sinbad’ because I sin bad all the time!

Now I have a reason for this: I am alone for many years BUT I had a reason for it when I wasn’t alone too because when you share space with someone who is drunk, drugged or gay you also end up angry enough to sin. So I must be Sinbad because no matter what my life is when I decide to do it I do bad so well!

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t do this all the time. I am like ‘Lancelot’ in ‘Camelot’: I spend the whole movie being pristine perfect and just when everyone is sure I am going to be good eternally I fall…

…big time! Now the higher a place you fall from the bigger you go SPLAT!

Here recently I have almost given up…I mean seriously when you leave your door unlocked at night hoping for a reason you don’t have to be held responsible and then verbally SMACK the crap outta someone for trying it online and then go write your own porno I mean heck…isn’t that the definition of hypocrite?

Sometimes I feel like Ella Fitzgerald singing, “Someone To Watch Over Me.”

No I don’t mean spiritual stuff I mean like real flesh and blood who is not drunk, stoned, smoking, or leaving after the dirty deed is done to go home to his (whatever there is at home) and if you think that means I know that scenario VERY WELL try this on…

… twice since 2004!

So it isn’t like I am bed hopping 24/7 or even hopping at all…as a matter of fact I hardly get any social action and when I DO have some it feels so over whelming I sleep for three days afterwards! OK now I am like looking forwards to Tuesday…now I have NO IDEA if anything is going to happen on Tuesday I mean, heck, it isn’t even here yet! Nothing might happen! If Something DOES happen I will be all mentally running in circles and screaming and throwing confetti but I will not die if nothing happens. Lots of guys over the years promised this thing or that thing and never cough up the things they promised and on the other hand a few guys (who are effing AWESOME) cough up what I need for nothing and ask for nothing and I would hug them and all that but they belong to awesome women and I don’t do that to other women if I know about it…I just pray that those awesome people get more and more happy and successful and leave my door unlocked at night sometimes…

…sick puppy huh???

What is sad is that no one comes through unlocked doors they try to beat the locked ones down and the only ones that are locked are on really pretty castles that have seen many many guests and the once that is free and unlocked hardly EVER has anyone sleep in it!

*wonders if it is the graffiti sprayed on the walls that keeps them out?*

Hey sometimes I even spruce my castle up and paint it and all that stuff and take photos of it I can’t post online, because I am a hypocrite and all, and then, ready to show the world a lovely castle (once or twice a year) go to someplace to show-case and LIB ain’t NO ONE thar to see it t’all! So I hose off the paint and all the lights and frills and get back to the old ruined castle mode and THEN someone wants to see it and by that time old Sinbadi in her castle is all ‘Get Lost Mo’Fo!” until the next year around the same time!

Then I usually kick back and write a whole romance,with sex and everything, post it on my blog which no one reads and then shortly after that, I look at this one angel-faced guy who is like *faints* and feel guilty as hell and take the story back down and save it for later like a hypocrite…

Man you KNOW you are so ‘NOT SCREWED’ when the last guy you asked to marry you said “No!” and he NEEDS help really bad and is a GOOD LONG TERM FRIEND!¬†

…Yeah I need to change my name to ‘Sinbad.’

LOL!

Hell Is A Creature

Where is the next one
Who can get close to this fire
Without being burned?

They are so few

This mind was destined
For this shell

But they do not fit
They do not match
The ones that match

Leave

How many ways
Are there to leave?
My jihad is to choose

Life

Someone told me once
Be a ghazi
They are leaving too

The rock stays
On the shore

Watching

Waves dance away
Sparkling in the sun
Fire made this rock
Fire is this soul

Where is the next one
Who can get close to this fire
Without being burned?

October Always Changes Everything

That October you came by
Walking in the sun you were
Young again with hair still black

Your big white smile
In that small place
Not even on a map

Life was innocent then
For a moment
Two years ago
I smelled your sweat in the sun
I could feel your happiness
Just to be alive

You were the strongest
The most amazing man on earth
You could even make
Tornadoes leave

Your nick names
Bear and Earthquake
Because you were so tall
So strong
You could even
Move a wireline truck
Off a man in danger

You smelled like Old Spice
And fresh raw black oil
Your hands were full of agates
You mind was full of ideas

I never thought you loved me
Head to head we spent a lifetime
You tried to love the insane
I tried to love the angry

You took your last breath
You came to see me
Time stopped
You were a giant man
You were legendary
Like Texas

I was Oklahoma’s child
I belonged to the wind
You made me tall those days
Before the world killed you
Before it killed me
While we yet lived

I am your daughter

Now you know
I am your daughter

Papa…

Now that you are gone
You walk all over
Making more earthquakes

Magoon

The End Of Main Street

“Come…sit next to me.” I patted the cement curb next to me on the last mile out of town. The freeway went on past what seemed like forever on the vast old prairie. He sat down. No one seemed to notice us in the cold sunset. Cars bulleted past until the stars began to open their eyes. Then the world became quiet. He was like unplayed music. I followed his dark eyes as they looked over the long road outlined in ghostly white. We sat there on the end of Main Street where the town ended saying nothing. There was something comfortable about the silence. It was as if we knew each others thoughts without trying.

I had never really met him before…or maybe I had met him many times in many places and just never remembered. Either way the space of time was fine with me. A few minutes in eternal present was enough. He looked at me and smiled without reservation.

The joy was enough for a lifetime.

He got up and started to walk away towards his destiny. I wanted to follow but his destiny was not mine. I watched him disappear into the night.

Somewhere in the distance a flute played…or perhaps it was a lark? I, too, got up off the curb and picked up a stick that had fallen from a tree by the high way. I used it to twist the ‘bob wires’ on the fence, that ran the length the eye could see along the road, and then I bent my body, carefully, and slid between the wires and started off across the farm fields. I, too, disappeared into the night.