Ragged Holes

Tonight I dance alone again
Fantasies I create
Illusions so perfect
Like a ballerina spinning
On a music box
The metal prongs
Twinkling out the tune
Plucked from ragged holes
Stabbed into a circle
I call my soul
You will be here with me
Although I am alone
There is no sorrow now
You are as free
As every note played
From every flute
On every lonely hill-side
Those holes sing
Every time the cold winds
Blow through
Your life breath playing
Music for me to dance to

Alone

How to Live a Life With Two

You can’t save me
I can’t save you
I remember the day
You told me that
Our addictions did
Not belong to each other
It cannot go both ways
It can’t be all my fault
And none of yours
‘Cause with us 1 plus 1
Only equalled one
Half of you and half of me
Left half of us alone
You can say you gave 100
But I will claim the same
At the end of everything
We each cared more about
Me than you and if you say
It ain’t so you are lyin’ too
Yo ain’t it about time we
Owned up to fact that we
Were both too selfish and needy
To understand how to give
How to live a life with two

Is Anyone At Home

Two hundred numbers in my phone
Is anyone at home
To make a new connection
There are days I think I’ll call them all
Shock a stranger to a call
To avoid the introspection

Yes I’m looking for a new friend now
Like the one from childhood
No one since then was like her
Do those come only once a life how
Rare it is for one life’s runner
To find love that close and good

I am not crying it’s just allergies
I eat pink pills all day to kill
The constant sneezing nose
Now that the rain is gone the flowers
They will make me wish for stone
Alone that is the way it goes

How I wish that I could sing it all
But I can only hear it in
My head so I live within again
If I can just wait one more day ’til Fall
I still forget about it all
Until it once more starts to rain

The End Of Main Street

“Come…sit next to me.” I patted the cement curb next to me on the last mile out of town. The freeway went on past what seemed like forever on the vast old prairie. He sat down. No one seemed to notice us in the cold sunset. Cars bulleted past until the stars began to open their eyes. Then the world became quiet. He was like unplayed music. I followed his dark eyes as they looked over the long road outlined in ghostly white. We sat there on the end of Main Street where the town ended saying nothing. There was something comfortable about the silence. It was as if we knew each others thoughts without trying.

I had never really met him before…or maybe I had met him many times in many places and just never remembered. Either way the space of time was fine with me. A few minutes in eternal present was enough. He looked at me and smiled without reservation.

The joy was enough for a lifetime.

He got up and started to walk away towards his destiny. I wanted to follow but his destiny was not mine. I watched him disappear into the night.

Somewhere in the distance a flute played…or perhaps it was a lark? I, too, got up off the curb and picked up a stick that had fallen from a tree by the high way. I used it to twist the ‘bob wires’ on the fence, that ran the length the eye could see along the road, and then I bent my body, carefully, and slid between the wires and started off across the farm fields. I, too, disappeared into the night.

But It Won’t Be Inside Your Mouth

Yesterday was love
It seemed there were lessons to be learned
We always seem to need those on a holiday
Anyway
So I woke up from a dream I wished would be
But it was just a dream you see

And so I came to this conclusion:

Don’t believe in dreams
You’ll end up with both open eyes
Empty hands believe in only what is real
And lives inside you

Papa told once the truth
When I was just a youth
and I will repeat the same thing now for the you

Wish in one hand shit in the other one
See which one fills up faster
Do not place your hopes on movies stars or kings
When the movie ends you will be left with nothing
When the kingdom crashes down you will be all alone
With nothing in a pile of rubble staring
at your empty hands
Don’t put all your happiness
Upon another person
It is very likely one day they will be gone far away
And don’t imagine you are happy
Because you have a home
Because really
All it is is just a place for the sack of skin you live in
To reside

Abide in that skin and you’ll be home
No matter if the kingdom falls
No matter how the winds may blow
And if it all comes crashing down again
Just smile and walk off
Like the hero did
In the movie that you only just remember from a dream

Oh my friend don’t cry
Don’t let your soul belong to the world
World will betray you
Don’t let your mind get set upon a game
The game the game will slay you
Don’t let money be the only focus of life life or beauty
You will someday lose it all
You will lose it all and the angels will come to take you away

Nothing much will matter in the face of that day
The things you dreamed the most of then
Will have nothing to do
With the things you thought you loved outside of you
It will be the love you gave to
More than dreams
Love who you are
More than the dream and shooting stars
More than anything on earth love God

The rest is just the wind
Yes wind is beautiful
It makes the silent things sing out
But it won’t always be inside your mouth…

Your Highness

(A folktale)

The People asked God for a KING.

“Why do you need a king? Don’t you have everything you need?”

“We need a king please give us a king! We want what those people over there have!”

“What do they have that you don’t have?”

“They have roads and fancy buildings and farm-fields and…..”

“But they are not free like you are they have to pay taxes and….”

“But they have FANCIER WOMEN and ours look plain next to them!”

…..and so it was done and God gave the people a king. They got a king because they wanted “what those people over there” had. This was the start of all the trouble. You see before then they were pretty much free and could travel all over the place and they had magic shoes even but it was not enough. They wanted something someone else had. They got it. Being a king is not that easy because suddenly people quit thinking for themselves and expected the king to think FOR them.

“Your Highness when should we build a new barn? Your Highness should we coin money to represent goods? Your Highness the family that lives by the big rock refuses to work and their kids are starving and that isn’t right and….YOUR HIGHNESS YOUR HIGHNESS”

Your Highness had a bad headache. He had to figure out all by himself how to give the people what they wanted and that was hard work and no one said thank you and if he made a mistake they threatened to kill him and it was a mess but he did it anyway because God made him a KING and he was a CASTE unto himself and so his whole family should benefit and he should have a royal life too because he watched THOSE GUYS over THERE and that OTHER king lived in a PALACE and didn’t he deserve the same?

Your Highness made a mint and made money happen and taxes and buildings and he made LAWS because people NEEDED laws so that they would not NEED to think for themselves about not taking THAT GUY OVER THERE’s stuff away from him (starting with a palace with guards to help protect him from people that wanted to kill him) and pretty soon THOSE people OVER THERE noticed Your Highness had a better kingdom than they had and they decided to try to TAKE it from him by force.

Your Highness had ANOTHER headache and had to raise an army to fight the army that was coming to kill the king…and so it went on…

In the thousands of years in between then and now millions of people were born and died and born and the institution of Kingship was entrenched. People could not do anything without a King. They could not function without laws but over all those years a whole system came to be that put all the power in the hands of a very few and those few used that power like a hammer on the minds and hearts of the people. They HAD TO or they knew they would lose everything. They were scared to death to lose everything so they had to scare the people as badly as they were scared so they hired smart people to make scary weapons that would destroy the world and then they took the world hostage.

That is how a very few people came to rule millions of people who mostly hate their rulers guts and would like to take them out but are scared to death of the kingdom collapsing and losing all their goodies a kingdom gives…

They should have never asked for a king. Each man should have ruled himself. Worked for himself. Lived for himself and the good of the community. Maybe they would not have been fancy but maybe they would have been happy and everyone would still have magic shoes?

Married

He should be your good guy he should be your bad guy
She should be your whore and your madonna
There should be no split in Love no sulky sit-in You
Should be close enough for both of you to want in

There’s no reason to be tellin’
Another person
All your fantasies
If you’re lucky you have someone
Who’s sitting next to you
You can share all these

The world tell’s us lies and makes use wrong eyes
We separate the idea of love and sex
There’s someone for your hunger and another for your needs
And damn that makes the world too complex

The one you say you love is probably wanting
The same thing you are terrified to ask for so you
Get online or go down the street and screw it all up
Permanently wear the mask for covering up

The Truth is you’re ruined now for anyone in the world
And you have the nerve to ask for someone pure to love you
Someone pure to serve you and better they deserve…You
Can’t see you will just bring them down from the blue…

There’s no reason to be tellin’
Another person
All your fantasies
If you have someone
Who’s sitting next to you
You can have all these

So It Is

When no one is near
Only the black cat sleeps
On the table
Under the lamp
The only other living thing
Here besides me 
And the cockroach
Who hurries along a baseboard
Hoping for water
The weeds flower fast
Outside the door
Seeds as many times
Passing faster now
Feeling blue fade from skies
Once more
Mournful night quiet
Even the wind left
The words come like friends
They come alone
From deep within me
I am alone
Only the demons in my mind
Want to write stories
To tease my dreams
The gnats gather 
Under the light nearby
So it is
My box and I keep company
Watching shadows
Flicker on the wall
For hundreds of years
It is the same fire
It is the same script
I write today
From yesterday’s yesterday

With Half Blind Eyes

A wedding party
Hands covered with mehndi
Goes on somewhere
Burial of someone loved
Birth
Somewhere near a stream
Two lovers forget the world
Hold hands in the dark
Hearts beating fast
Unseen … Tonight a very old man
Cries alone in a strange room
Pretending he is not sad
For visitors
Today a child
Stole a mango from a barrel
In a marketplace somewhere
She eats it with hungry teeth
Furtive eyes
Alone
Somewhere people dance
Lights flash brightly
Whirling smiles flash
Makeup runs with sweat
A trophy
None of them knows
Any of the others
Alone in crowds or corners dark
Each sees ‘self’ only
All we can ever see
With half blind eyes
Creation