Words Words Words

No sleep no
Sleep no sleep
How can you love me

I understand me not
No no no no so it goes
On on on the hours pass by

Alone alone alone fall fall
Almost like we fight while smiling
Or maybe you are water

Moving easily around the obstacles I throw
These humpty dumpty beats of my heart
Looking for a certain grin

From far away and long ago
Was it sounding wobbled flautists
Curling notes back from core notes peeled

Like boiled eggs never hatched
Go go go swaying away
Like the old fashioned ladies stalking flower pots

Beats beats beats this fist of flesh with every
Word word word swaying today
Gone gone gone staccato stately slide

In a gliding road winding forwards always
Here here here is where is was all erased
Whisper softly those words

They terrify me more than death
Love means you suffer
Until the words

Words words words of this day eight years ago
Were finally fulfilled

It’s Quiet Here

It’s quiet here,
Upstairs they practice rock music and drink beer,
I would have loved that once but it makes me sick now.
Not because they are wrong but because my body says, ‘NO’!
My body rejects, violently, everything people use to escape.

I used to hike and be physical to get ‘high’….
That avenue is closed now.

I tried mediation and ended up in dark, scary places….

Disconnected.

I tried writing myself lovers…
(Because, face it, unmarried 50 year old ‘crips’ don’t get alot of action.)

That was OK for a while
But then I was banned in a country
That calls my stuff ‘porno’…

(Well it WAS porno!)

And anyway it made me feel bad for some reason
That that was the only reason
Some wanted me
And even close friendships
Broke from dirty words.

It’s so easy to tell another person
How they should see the world….
How SHOULD they see the world?
Can any of us have any idea?
There are those of us doomed
To brain wiring that happened
Before we even had the ability to put words into memory…

(But some of us can…..)

“GO OUT! BE WITH PEOPLE!”

So they tell me…

Go to the bar across the street?
Have my 75 year old mother drive me places?
She is already over-burdened….
Oh yes!
Go!
Do!
So easy it is yes? Yes? YES????

Even crippled people need money and support
To GO DO and BE

Don’t show me pictures of legless men
Climbing mountains with their fingers
Thinking this will inspire me.

That is nothing more than a cheap way
To get out of really helping someone….

It’s really quiet here…
In the box and in the Life….

So quiet.

(All Rights Reserved)
MshannonM
13/8/13