Facebook Asks Me…

…What’s on my mind?

Fantasy
Sexual odes to Love,
Iridescent bubbles,
Slow dancing with angels,
Infatuated euphoria,
Transforming,
Music that makes me smile,
Writing love songs to my beloved
Sprung full grown from my brain
After giving me a headache

What’s on my mind…

Dark eyes filled with stars,
Leather and sheesha,
Galloping across the plains,
Mountains in the distance,
Hawks on our wrists,
Flung skywards
Full of prayers

What’s on my mind…

Deep blue evening,
Round pebbles making water speak,
Hung around your neck
Wear me,
And I will wear you,
Leaning on the tree to big to move,
Breathing in you
Breathing out you
In and out moving
Into darkening
Cool

What’s on my mind…

The room The screen The words The end.

Become the Cookie!

2008-10-10 15.57.32

It isn’t ‘either/or’ it is ‘and/and’.

That is something people sometimes don’t understand about me. Most do but most are not trying to marry me. The very few who want me all to themselves, for some reason, miss the point that there are people in the world I love and the choice is not ‘me or everyone else’, the choice is ‘me AND everyone else.’

I have been in long term marriages and relationships with people who defined the meaning of ‘relationship’ as ‘either/or’. I was that was once myself and imposed a vast loneliness upon myself thinking that was the right thing to do.

It isn’t.

What happens when it is either/or is the eventual growth of dependency, martyrdom and, in the end, actual dislike. People in healthy relationships have ‘others friends’ and having those friends does not mean they are cheating and much of the time those friends are the same gender and they are not gay OR lesbian.

Human beings need approbation from each other. We need good times and a circle of love to live in. We need more than one friend and even, sometimes, if we are very lucky, more than one ‘bestie.’

I am not gonna lie and say I am perfect. I play here every once in a while and those people have respect and they KNOW that the ‘love’ that we have is based on a solid understanding of reality. I don’t stalk their pages to see what girls they like and, actually, I don’t chat that much with them either and they know I don’t cam and they respect the kind of person I am and I try to give that back and if I KNOW someone is married I step back.

But the last couple of years I hardly do that anymore either. Only once in several months. I am getting older and less interested in that stuff as anything more than ‘word games for the brain.’ A friend from a long time ago taught me this term, ‘mental masturbation.’ I didn’t do it with you either kid because I just couldn’t. I ‘lost it’ and did that with someone a little more mature. Someone who understands he and I are never going to be together and has no expectations of me and treats me like a good friend still.

It’s weird because being online is kind like interactive TV. You might really have a crush on someone and, in the old days, you got to stare at a movie or a poster and the only interaction was the one you had with yourself. Now you can go online and find ‘hotties’ with cams set up that do nothing all day but ‘interact’ and the chances of the one who is in love with that girl (and guys too these days!) will get that one for a life partner are about as probable as getting to marry Leonardo DiCaprio or Angelina Jolie.

It gets a little bit ridiculous but we can’t help ourselves even if we have self control. The world might see someone who never does anything wrong and that one might be carrying around ‘Justine’ in their head and you would never know it. That brings us back to what I started. It can never be, in the real world of real people, ‘either/or’. No matter HOW MUCH you want that big cookie all to yourself SOMEONE is gonna bite it while you aren’t looking. That is life.

That big cookie is love and everyone loves that big cookie and if you are gonna love people you are gonna be sharing that big cookie with the whole world and that big cookie might have sex in it but it really has nothing at all to do with sex and everything to do with basic human needs. The thing that makes people the most loved and envied is not how much of that cookie they can eat but whether or not they have the ability to ‘become the cookie.’

The Land of Walls: Facebookia

It is asking me what is on my mind again and I have it set to ‘only me’, while I type, in case I don’t like it after I hit ‘post’.

Life is getting better in many ways. It is getting more challenging in many ways. It seems like I interact here to see and hear so much horrible stuff and I am thinking that even if there were over 200 mass shootings there had to be AT LEAST 200,000 GOOD things that happened in this nation alone.

We are so zeroed in on everything horrible.

It seems like we are on a collective guilt-trip if we get too happy while the world is going to hell but IS IT going to hell or is that just the news?

OK OK there are some really crummy-ass things going on no doubt but also no doubt this place makes us schizo! I realized that not very long ago when I was looking at another person’s ‘wall’, (oh how Pink Floyd goes through my head right now), and there were bombed babies and sad faces right next door to cute kittens and extreme sports and it became apparent that we are all GM’s of our own ‘news-stations’.

When we post these things what are we actually DOING, (besides getting an emotional response of some kind), that changes the world? Share this goat for no reason? I am not saying that we should never share our collective consciousness because that kind of sharing is a GOOD thing! When we do that one side of the world gets to meet the other side of the world and find out we are all pretty much the same BUT, (I read a famous essay once full of ‘but’s’ but I can’t find it), why do we share what we share? As I got around to looking at stuff I saw I was pretty much doing the same thing as everyone else.

I wonder what would happen if we realized the power of this media outlet above and beyond being the ‘postman’? When we write our own stuff and publish our own photos and share recipes and all the good stuff that has value in the real world then this is a good place. If you use it to raise money for orphans or teach someone another language or share art-forms, (yes even politics is an art-form), then maybe some good comes from it; but if all that happens at the end of the day is the idea that the world is hopeless and we should all just curl up and quit caring for reality while we let it eat us alive, maybe we should rethink why we are here and what our purpose is…????

Questions I will try to remember before I post:

1) Will this change the world for the better?
2) Will this teach someone something worth learning?
3) Will this direct people towards the ‘good, the true and the beautiful’?
4) Will this be a way to show humanity it’s errors in a way that is constructive instead of destructive?

Just some ideas…just thinking too much

Facebook

Lately, when I go to Facebook, it seems like a weird and removed place as if some old sci-fi novel came to life and people are burning books and going for pixels instead of cellular life…

…yet it has sustained my sanity during times when I had no one.

Everything and nothing changes always and never and sometimes the bustle is as far removed from reality as the binary code and maybe we are all just part of a dream but I can still reach out and feel a soul 1000’s of miles away better than I can one next to me…or maybe one next to me is wanting to drive away all the binary ghosts or maybe I really don’t know?

Hungry without hunger and crowded with loneliness or sleepless with exhaustion and wondering why this universe that held me safe from insanity for so many years now seems remote and senseless?

This love hate thing has seen so many wash up on this shore of dreams and then wash back out to sea until the ships that pass in the night blow friendly fog horns and pass on without anchoring to trade goods.

I want to hug you and not let go. I hate my naked face all broken with age and I like my mind even when it scares me or makes me soar or both and still inhabits this bag of flesh that I am glad to wield until when?

We never know that and never can.

I go and peek from time to time but more and more I find that the sea beckons me to leave the beach.

Within the Dream

Squeeze the wind from the tartan bags
Pluck the raindrops from the stringed harp
Blow away last year’s leaves with sharp exhales
Upon the flute play the bodhran boom
Vibrate the skies and fill the eyes
Until they make rivers
Fill the seas and dance on feet
World wandering wonder’s beheld
Never leaving the dream of dreams

Speak

Don’t speak to me now
In throes of fevered fervor
Like twisted DNA
Bound in spirals
Still zipped closed
If loosed
The story they would tell
Could burn us to cinders
I lay the bricks hastily
Damning the emotions
Into oceans of fire
So they never touch you
Were you always here
Before Time was born
Was it written
We would meet like this
In a present impossible
Unless we failed to love
Breaking all with evil

No…

Don’t speak to me now

What Would Happen If….

…we all made this place as popular as Facebook?

This place has the potential to be like that only with more intellect included. I got this idea from a guy whose blog is called ‘Harsh Reality’ who I only know as ‘OM’.

I was watching his blog and it is interactive.

I post tons of stuff at Facebook and then bring the best of it here piece by piece but if I spent as much time here as I did there????

Just an idea…