The Magic Bullshit Shield


I imagine something and make it viewable. I write something and make it imaginable. I + mage = Image. We are all mages, tricksters and creators. ALL of us. How this expresses itself is the only variable.

I respond, with my tactile senses, to something and it moves me to a non-tactile ‘place.’ It moves me to the ‘mage magic’ place. This is expressed in so many ways. When I was young there was a girl who was on the cheerleading squad. I only have seen this once in my life and I have seen many cheerleading squads but she was exceptional.


I tried to figure it out for a long time. She had short, dirty dishwater blond hair. She had terrible acne. She could not do the splits of any of the fancy stuff the rest of the squad did. Her parents were poor and not ‘town team sponsors’ (which will often get an ‘average’ girl an ‘exceptional’ placement.) She was NOTHING at all like a cheerleader and she was not even a SNOB!

She was like no one I ever met and I liked her and so did everyone else. I asked her, while riding that ugly yellow signature school-bus, what her secret was. See, at that time, everyone was calling me a ‘witch’ and so I was studying that. In those days, way out in the tall grass boonies of Oklahoma, in those ranch town libraries, about the only thing you could find was about the Salem Witch Trials. She looked at me in a strange way and then she said, “I am happy and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I am happy anyway.”

She really WAS happy but there was more to it than that. Her personality ‘stuck out’ farther than her skin. Her soul was larger than her body. After that I started to LOOK AT people and LOOK INTO them. I learned this:

The two do not always match.

There are those walking around in this world who are very powerful people and yet do not fit any descriptors of what a powerful person should look like or be. In doing this I met many such people over the course of my life. There was the young man who was the shortest, most snaggle toothed kid in the school and yet, when he played music, the girls who hung out with the homecoming queen would ask him out on dates. Once his band mates asked him what his secret was and why weren’t they getting any action as they were tall and ripped in comparison to him. He just smiled and shook his head.

There was the hippie English teacher who was weird and stoned and yet we learned more in her class, than we ever would learn anywhere else, about language and how it works. She was tall and strange with wild black hair and everyone made fun of her. She didn’t care what they thought.

It wasn’t the ‘I don’t care’ that is a REACTION to bullies and their bull shit but an ACTION that told the bullshit people, before they reached that stage, that their bullshit was not going to work.

That was the secret. Understanding what bullshit is and making yourself impervious to it.

Bullshit proof.

So for the New Year hits that is my wish for all my friends: that you keep, or learn to wield, your magic ‘bullshit shield.’

I Will

I seek the hands reaching
Eyes seeing only the dirt below

I grab your unsuspecting hand
A part of you will desire to run
A part of you will desire to run with me

A pulse jumps through your palm
Moving the hairs


Night aires playing
With stars in your head
Rewriting old words with trails of light
As beautiful and new
As they were five million years ago
When we tracked the trails of heaven
Through Sumerian skies

This short disgusting lovely thing
We call ‘life’
It is the epic of the Universe
Permeating every layer of existence

Come with me
Let these hands linked reach past the edge
Above and below
A force to my magma
Fires of the skies
Oceans full

Be my song
Be the smile life writes on my face
And I will write you as the hero
At the apex of the arches

The grass will be thick and soft
Hillsides will be gentle
You are all existence
I am the void

Together we are majestic
Together we are beauty

It’s time to go now
I will let go of you
Like I have let go of every teacher
Who was a student at the doors of my heart
You will slip into the void
From fantasy into concrete
Your feet will walk
Where things are hard

This is how it is
When we fly

To know
What shakes the abyss with madness
To bathe
In what fills all space with light
Living inside the surface
Of an iridescent bubble

I orbit your sun
You shine on my face
Nothing held back


Facebook Asks Me…

…What’s on my mind?

Sexual odes to Love,
Iridescent bubbles,
Slow dancing with angels,
Infatuated euphoria,
Music that makes me smile,
Writing love songs to my beloved
Sprung full grown from my brain
After giving me a headache

What’s on my mind…

Dark eyes filled with stars,
Leather and sheesha,
Galloping across the plains,
Mountains in the distance,
Hawks on our wrists,
Flung skywards
Full of prayers

What’s on my mind…

Deep blue evening,
Round pebbles making water speak,
Hung around your neck
Wear me,
And I will wear you,
Leaning on the tree to big to move,
Breathing in you
Breathing out you
In and out moving
Into darkening

What’s on my mind…

The room The screen The words The end.

The Evil Turd Woman


The Evil Turd Woman
by Irishasia Roshani

One morning a woman went outside and discovered a neighbor’s animal has distributed a large, foul-smelling turd in her front yard. The other woman’s yard was full of shit….and it stank to the high heavens!She saw the woman come outside and went to her and said, “Could you please remove the turd from my lawn? I believe one of your animals left it there.” The woman looked at her like she was a nutcase! “Pick up your own turds!,” the woman snarled! She was taken aback and then very angered…she told everyone in the neighborhood about this awful woman who was rude and screamed at her! The animal woman heard of this and sent a pet over ON PURPOSE to doodle on her lawn! Why there were flies already buzzing around the first pile and a new outrageous pile began! The woman began to stay up all night to catch her evil neighbor in the act! She lost sleep. She got sick. She was so focused on this evil womans turds! All of the neighbors began to comment about how animal woman was the worst neighbor anyone could possibly have…

One day came a man walking down the street….he saw the people quaralling with her over the fence. She was saying…”These are MY animals and MY yard and they can crap all over it if they want to I love them!,” then she looked at her next door neighbor and said, “And YOU, miss-nose-in-the-air-you-are-superior-to-me-and – pets….you can go and pick up those turds yourself!” and with that the animal woman stomped back inside her house and slammed the door!

The neighbors were shocked! They went to the nice lady and said, “We are so sorry!”, The man came and said, “I will clean it off your lawn for you…no trouble…” “NO!!!” the woman cried out! “The whole world should see these turds!….these turds are a sign of the injustice done to me! The whole world will know what an evil woman she is! The turds will STAY!”……

Well the evil woman heard this and got very angry and started to send her animals over every night! Every night the other woman would beat the animals back into the right yard…she got so sick fighting these turds that she was hospitalized…

She had spies spy on the evil turd lady and turds began to show up on THEIR lawns and make them angry! Soon every yard in the whole neighborhood had a turd in it somewhere….

One old man had a solution. He said, “Ignore the turds.” The people said, “Why? She is wrong and evil!”, “well”,said the old man, “She may be evil but payin’ attention to her isn’t workin’ is it?” “Yes” the people said,”What we are doing is not helping anything it is getting worse!” So they agreed with the old man to ignore the shit and the evil turd woman. It was hard at first. She would make remarks at everyone who passed by like, “Your yard sure stinks alot!”, but the people resolutely ignored her….it was true…the whole neighborhood stank like a crowded pasture…but they ignored her. Even the first woman who started the fight ignored her….

One day a big rainstorm came. It rained for days and soon all the shit had melted away….it had been a long time since anyone had bothered the evil turd woman. everyone had clean yards that bloomed and grew unusually well that year! Her yard was full of crap but everyone left her alone with it…

One day the old man was walking down the street just as the nice lady was leaving her doorway…there…in the lawn…was a large stinking pile.
The nice lady started to call for her next door neighbor and the old man hulla’d her…”MAAM! LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT!” and he got the hose out and blew the offense back over into the other yard with a stream of water and never said a word to the evil turd lady…he turned to the nice lady and said…

“Never get mixed up in other people’s crap….it will get all over you every time!”