What Price?

What price is there
For living life the way you chose
How much did it cost
To get to the bench you sit on now
Watching flowers grow?

How many upside down
Glass cups of hash smoke
Broke how many cherries bled
In vans of orgies
We chose to attend
With peanut butter at the end?

How many plastic baggies fill
The land-fill
That were once filled
With Colombian Gold
Spanish missionaries never found
How much
Was every breath of nicotine
And every thing we dropped
In mystery
Not knowing what the end would be
Until it fooled us
We were free.

Yes we
Forgot who died
Who went into the wild
Sans the wisdom to know not
To eat the root
Yet wrote the book
After a life was gone
Here we are
We have to carry on
And on and on and on
Until we reach whatever we head to.

What is it that we seek
We never ask it
Until we’re weak and then it comes
In shocked surprise and dangles
Just before our eyes… yes:
A universal joke
That started with a daring toke
Ending when the hash-smoke broke
And left us standing here alone.

I would have married you the day
I ran my childish hands
Through still brown curls
But our world
Says that such a union is doomed for Hell
And so we knew it and we ever only blew it
In our minds because I’m certain
I was not the only one who felt that way
I did I knew too much
Though just a kid
I wished you would take me home with you
But you belonged to the world
For all you were a rebel man
And now the world passed us
In a thundering roar.
It’s too late to know the score and
There’s no chance for any more.

The short short days with halter tops
Were short short days until the youth stops
And the pride of place is lost
In the dub step shuffle of decades
While you hold the memories of years
Jewels falling out of trembling hands
Into the abyss of forever
All the places that you dreamed of are still
Nothing more than foreign lands
Full of the same war we fought
Over and over before just with different names
But it’s all the same King of the Games.

So here I am
Writing these words
While my old cat drools over birds
At his best place by the French doors
That maybe once let in oil-whores
That I ran with for long enough
To know what love is worth
For a night
After several drinks
When no one’s thinking
It will send and you won’t even know
The name of who it was thirty years later
You will only recall a ginger ass
Bouncing in the dark
While the starry skies flew over head
Wars came home
With coffins full of the dead
Blue skies fled across the hours and days and years….

…until it is that sunshine falls
Upon the public housing walls
And the wheeled walker
To the bus stop full of people
Your grandfather would cry to see you hug….

…or maybe smile…

…because we are only here such a very short while.

(photo by thecontrail.com )

thecontrail.com

Barf on My Wall

“Forgive, forget, and move on.”
“He who forgets the past is doomed to repeat it.”
“Forgive, forget, and move on.”
“He who forgets the past is doomed to repeated it.”
“The definition of insanity: ‘To do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.”
“If at first you don’t succeed: ‘Try Try AGAIN!”
“There is no such thing as ‘lie’ and ‘truth’ it’s all relative to the situation!”
“You are my best friend you liar! Why didn’t you tell me you slept with my love!”
“Your ‘love’ did not ‘love’ you so it was not a lie!”
“Ok then give me back the 1000 bucks I loaned you yesterday!”
“You did not loan me ANY money yesterday!”
“Hey…YOU said there is no such thing as a lie and the truth and it’s all relative to the situation! From what I can gather you ‘did’ my love 10 times and that is a hundred a pop! So you owe me buddy!”
Et cetera ad naseum.
We usually say what suits us at the time and 6 months later when it doesn’t suit anymore we say the opposite forgetting what we said in the first place and repeating history…
I plan to barf all over my wall daily…

Speak

Don’t speak to me now
In throes of fevered fervor
Like twisted DNA
Bound in spirals
Still zipped closed
If loosed
The story they would tell
Could burn us to cinders
I lay the bricks hastily
Damning the emotions
Into oceans of fire
So they never touch you
Were you always here
Before Time was born
Was it written
We would meet like this
In a present impossible
Unless we failed to love
Breaking all with evil

No…

Don’t speak to me now

As If Words

Write not to remember or forget a dream that haunts as a ghost on a mountain top flying over old temples where breath fails and synapses separate blowing the mind outwards….

…as if words

Call out to me and from the distance I can hear your voice in the wind…the tone…the warmth…what did you say?

…as if words

A million words in a 10,000 poems in 1000 books in mindless delirium spoken for the sound of wishes…from this design created universes with ‘BE!’

…as if words

To cut as sharp or flay the mind or heal or snatch away reality…no matter past this…to heal to hold to love to make…

…as if words.