When You Are

When you are alone
You become delirious
The words are like a drug
They come they incite
Sobs inside no one understands
A soul so hungry
Trash is good
A heart so alone
It begins to make a lover
Of Itself
Floods of feeling
Slamming down the unseen
Insane again
Mindful mindlessness
Tapping typing flamenco
Stiletto stabs the keys
When you are alone

Lake ‘Hold-Her-Closer’

The Rain Song by Led Zeppelin

This song brings back memories. Most of you were not even born yet. I had a white truck with rainbow stripes that people called ‘The Ice-cream Truck’ after a Cheech and Chong movie idea. It was my day off. I was cruising Lake Overholser, (we called it ‘hold-her-closer’), looking for company but the lake was pretty dead that day. Back then it was a wilder place and I took my truck back in the underbrush on a mud rut trail where the fishermen without a license hid out. The trees covered me and the smell of mud and fishy lake water came through the open windows shaded in bright polka dots of light as mosquitoes buzzed and whined in my ears. I did not mind losing a drop or two of blood back then there was no MRSA.

The fisher-people were gone and I was alone. I had a cassette player and a stack of Led Zeppelin in the console by the stick shift. I laid the seat back and stuck in a tape and grabbed the orange zig-zags and tore one in half……

….who wants to smoke paper?

I had a quarter ounce of hydroponic 23 generation bleed purple awesome home grown. It smelled like spicy flowers. I grabbed a small bud and crushed it’s sticky goodness into that half a zig-zag and rolled a fattie.

Back then it was not illegal.

While the music played and life sang and buzzed and danced all around me I lit that little bit of heaven and sucked that magic fog down deep in my lungs careful not to cough up a toke. This was special stuff not that same old ‘columbian gold’ we got all the time.

As the buzz came on I forgot spending the day before high in the air on that old hydrolic ‘cherry picker’ while sweating buckets in the noonday heat repainting the last number on a billboard sign for a local hotel.

As the peace of the deep sweet satyr-day washed in I recall this song ♥

Dead (dedicated to Sheila’s memory and my 13 year’s of life…circa 1976)

Dead,

Dead..it seems too many years,

Hopeless, heartless, loveless….of death I have no fears,

Dead,

Gone,

Rotton to the core,

Everwhere that Evil’s been,

I was there before…

Will my spirit rise?

Will I embrace the sun?

My love is lost to me now,

Our spirits were as one.

Maybe,

On some future,

I will find a place

To lay this broken spirit,

And leave the past behind.

I would never wish you,

This life that tears the mind apart,

Leaving you with nothing,

Except a broken heart.

To Addie

Khwar ma say 

It’s OK
Life has always been about
You going away
Whoever you have been
It’s OK
Even if you go you always
Live in my heart
Whoever you have been
It’s OK
If tomorrow everyone I loved
Packed up and left
That’s the way that gypsies live
It’s OK
The sun still rises tomorrow
I will put one foot before the other
One more day…
It’s OK
Real friends never say goodbye
Just dissappear with a smile
Someday…

It is all OK…….